The approach I use is based on Bowlby’s Attachment Theory. It’s a structured, evidence-based model aimed at helping couples reconnect. Attachment Theory recognises that from the time we’re born, we need to be emotionally and physically nurtured. This desire for protection in the form of connection never leaves us.
As adults, we know that we can do life on our own, but it’s usually not what we desire. It’s normal and healthy for humans to seek out a partner to share life with – someone we can depend and rely on. When we reach out in need, we want to know our partner will be there. We’re happier, healthier and more confident when we can come home to an environment that’s nurturing and loving, where we feel understood and accepted.
By contrast, living in constant conflict is akin to living in a war-zone. Our inbuilt protection systems, or fight-or-flight mechanisms, are constantly activated and we feel under continual threat.
The therapeutic approach promotes and encourages the bond between partners. Together, we’ll gain a deeper understanding of the barriers between you and your partner. Working from these insights, you’ll learn the skills you both need to communicate and connect deeply.